True Patriot Fondness

Well, it worked, didn't it? Something like 15 words inserted into the Throne Speech got the nation not talking about the, er, Throne Speech. Not to mention the whimsical 3-month suspension of our parliament.

The subject of those 15 words was, of course, the National Anthem. And the swapping out of the words "In all our son's command" for "Thou dost must needs a merkin". Or something. But, as of Friday afternoon, the issue is dead. No changes to our hallowed patriot dirge. Where the anthem is concerned, we stand on guard. "The people have spoken". The government wasted no time asserting that they had heard the vox populi.

Interestingly, some of the most vociferous in opposing said changes were the government benches. Though it sounded as if they were barking in - possibly - hastily scripted outrage. And when the reversal was fully, completely done, others twittered in admiration.

So we have a dead news cycle for 48 hours and nobody is talking about the budget - an adobe castle built on sand in an earthquake zone - or the infantile, symbol laden throne speech.

The whole thing was a brilliant, calculated set-up. A distraction to get the wide-eyed populace blabbing about something, anything, other than the indefensible emptiness, gimmicks and hollow rhetoric that marked the sitting minority government's reluctant return to the parliament they seem to loathe.

That they floated it after the waxen, miraculously-coiffed Prime Minister of our one-man democracy was seen mouthing the existing, hallowed lyrics countless times over the course of Swaggerfest - er, the Winter Olympics - is the height of irony. Recalibrating, indeed.

This, of course was followed by the unseemly presentation by our finance minister - a former car crash and slip n' fall (Personal Injury) kinda litigator - of a grab bag of fantasy arithmetic that borders on innumeracy at best, bald-faced and disingenuous optimism at worst.

Meanwhile, the justice minister - who in Canada is also in charge of policing himself - seems to have taken a one-way ticket out of reality. He has punted other worrisome bothers into the able hands of an esteemed and able ex-jurist. Not that he's going to make a ruling or anything. It is, after all, a review. Justice Iacobucci will render an opinion that has all the legal force of a ton of feathers in the wind. If the government does not favour it, they'll likely kick the nettlesome issue of parliamentary supremacy into the Supreme Court. A very troublesome development that would be. But at least it will get them through the next election (Unless, in light of recent reports, that contempt motion is tabled).

In the background, the ample Minister of Citizenship and Immigration is caught red-handed in an act of what one can only assume is self-loathing and projection. Huzzah! History is now revised! Any reference to the hard-won rights of gays has been effectively scrubbed from a citizenship guide. A guide for the new, presumably homophobic, Canadians whose hearts he hopes to win. When confronted by the prying press, he flees, skittering out on his tiny trotters.

And, of course, there was that incident involving the Minister of State for the Status of Women in the shit-hole she calls PEI. Shoes were thrown. Fits were hissied. Hapless airline staff harangued. You'd think she was forced to go through one of John Baird's Strip-o-Matic full body scanners.

All of this, while the ideological purification of Rights and Democracy proceeds apace with the appointment to the helm of an erstwhile party hack. As Elvis Costello once wrote, "I used to be disgusted, but now I'm just amused."

This truly may appear like the gang that can't shoot straight unless the target is their own feet. The anthem thing was, well, the motives are perhaps entirely obscure. However, it is not beyond the realm of the plausible that it was floated as a too-clever-by-half distraction aimed squarely aimed at the 'jes' folks' jawing crullers at Timmies.

It was - almost - a cunning coax to look not at the substance of this government's performance or lack thereof, but at the shiny thing over there. Oooh, it sparkles.

Ah, chess!

It's Party Time!

This is my favourite quote from a CPC MP on the current progation of Canadian Parliament:

""Democracy and Parliament are not being sidestepped — they are only being suspended."

Well, gosh, doesn't that make you feel better? Me neither.

But that's what St. Albert M.P. Brent Rathgeber said in response to queries from his local paper.

Whether this maneuver has any lasting effect on the electoral fortunes of the current minority government remains to be seen. But it does seem to have struck a chord (hit a nerve?) with a whole bunch of jes' folks out there. The Facebook Group 'Canadians Against Proroguing Parliament' swells daily by 10s of thousands of joiners. I'm not very Facebook-y, but this seems pretty impressive.

And 'The Economist', which is not exactly 'The Socialist Worker' has deigned to raise an eyebrow Canada's way. It, too, is less than impressed.

John Ibbitson of the Globe initially touted the fact that Parliament and Democracy were 'only being suspended' as a 'Travesty, yet clever'. Today, however, he seems in a less admirable frame of mind.

It would also seem that a good many Canadians are taking a dim view of these shenanigans, judging by a couple of polls regarding prorogation taken in the last week. Something the PollCos probably didn't ask, but should have is:

1) Do you think the Government takes you for a complacent fool?

2) If yes, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being somewhat and 10 being completely daft, how much of a fool do they take you for?

And,

3) Can you tell us what 'recalibrate' means. Seriously. Because we here at PollCo haven't the foggiest idea.

All of this is accompanied by the usual slew of Conservative talking points:

"Members can spend more time in their constituencies'. Gosh, I though they were elected to go to Ottawa to provide representation for those constituencies.

"Chretien did it!" Indeed, three or four times. But only when the legislative slate was clean. Not once did he prorogue to run and hide, er, 'recalibrate'.

And, my, favourites, the one-two sucker punch of 'It's a perfectly legal and normal part of parliamentary democracy' combined with 'The media is biased'.

These assertion might carry a little more heft if they weren't so awesomely hypocritical.

Isn't a coalition, for example, 'democratic and legal'. And, in that case, was not every possible negative angle poked, prodded and examined by the biased jackals in the fourth estate?

Doubtless, the coalition move was odious to many. But that was in part due to equally inflammatory headlines parroting the government line about 'coups' and 'assaults on democracy' and whatnot.

Either all the tools of a parliamentary democracy are open to all parties, or they're not. It's willfully inconsistent to defend one while sanctimoniously whinging about another.

This sets a very dangerous precedent wherein the Government can prorogue strategically when the slogging gets tough for them. Double-plus un-good.

Left, Right, Centre

Or should that be 'Center'?

It seems to me, one of the new talking points a person encounters reading, watching or scrolling the news these days is this:

"Yes, Obama may be in, but you must remember that the Democratic Party in the U.S.A. is to the right of our Conservative party."

That's nonsense. It may have been somewhat true when we had a party called the Progressive Conservatives, of which I would happily, at one time, self-identify. Mind you, I would do so from what we once called the 'Red Tory' faction. (Those individuals have been purged - it's not too strong a word - from the current Conservative party, dominated as it is by a turnip truck full of Pitchfork Prairie Populists, Social Conservative loons and Calgary School Friedman-ites.)

To claim this current bunch is to the left of the American Democratic Party is hokum. And, as a talking point, I can't see the political utility, other than to suggest that our current government has more in common with the 'New Hope-y Coloured Dawn' Obama-crats then not. But that ignores a whole bunch of facts.

That American Democrats are big tent is a hoary cliche. But, it's true. Within the Donkey Camp, you'll find everything from LGBT Activists to Big Labour to Blue Dogs who, many in the party would complain, vote in lockstep with their colleagues on the other side of aisle. It's a complex gaggle of competing interests who often self-flagellate themselves in a herd to the mushy middle. And thus, somehow, manage to govern.

Red Tories would probably feel a degree of kinship with the right of the Democratic Party. After all, Red Tory meant 'fiscally conservative and socially progressive'. This is ideological real estate that I believe most people in Canada inhabit. The Red Tory saw things through a lens of 'Spend wisely, tax less and leave everyone the hell alone. Especially in their bedrooms and their businesses.'

But our current Krop of Konservatives have, heretofore, swooned in the ether of their own ideological flatulence.

Which brings us to the budget. Was it not just 60 days ago that the Finance Minister stood up in the House and, straining all credulity, claimed we were headed for a surplus? And that "Our stewardship has ensured that The Fundamentals are Sound®". Oh, and, we're taking away the public funding for your parties.

A sennet, a flourish of middle fingers and Exuent Stage Right.

Straight into pro-rogue. For a month-and-a-half. When they returned, that promised small surplus had become a $64 Billion deficit, quite possibly structural. Are they fibbers? Incompetent? Incompetent fibbers? WTF?

The reading of the budget felt like watching boy scouts who, encountering an elderly woman who needs a hand across the busy street, is picked up, flung and crash lands into a Canada Post box. "See", say the Scouts, "We helped her across the F'ing street." The budget version was, "Stimulus? Here's your GD stimulus. Gentlemen, ready your shovels. We're gonna save our previously 'fundamentally sound' economy with nail-guns and roofing tar for hockey rinks. Oh, and screw science." Then, it's back to the bar and high-fives, boo-yaa chest-bumps and triples all-around. "Hoo-hah. We saved our hides!"

A sennet, a strained flourish of tugged forelocks and a Keystone Kops-esque melee in all directions.

And that was perfectly okay with the opposition Liberals who, whether for strategic or altruistic reasons will move to support this dadaist collage of a budget. Lord help us all.

So, as a result of this fiscal Frankenstein, I will be building a fourth bathroom for my Liquor n' Ammo shop ('Shotz') . I will also construct a luxury pen for my dogs. Then I will do one victory lap at the newly-roofed rink. A cure for Cancer be damned!

Meanwhile, down in Washington, it seems they actually do want to invest in a 21st Century Economy. Naturally, there will be vocal obstructionism from the Limbaugh wing, pointless filibusters and much wringing of old white hands with mottely brown spots. But after all the flapping, a very simple conclusion seems to have been reached:

Left wing. Right wing, It takes both to fly straight.